A shadow is a part of us that we didn’t accept. It can be on a conscious or unconscious level.

The best way to figure out what our shadow is in mirror work: what bothers you or irritates you in others is actually a trait you also have, but for some reason, you didn’t accept it.

Maybe you think that this is a terrible trait to have or you don’t believe that you could ‘be like that’.

But, my dear friend, we all have ALL traits in us. ALL OF THEM.

So here is a simple, but powerful exercise that helped me: I wrote a list of what bothers me in other people. For example:

X talks too much and interrupts me all the time.
Y doesn’t listen to me.
Z lies.


And then I crossed out their names, wrote my name instead and turned it around:

I talk too much and interrupt others all the time. — Turned out to be true.
I don’t listen to myself. I don’t listen to others. — True. And True.
I lie. — This one I knew it wasn’t true. I never lie. But then I added one bit:
I lie to myself. Ufff… that was such a true statement it hurt! It opened my eyes and helped me to grow so much!

Your shadow can be a source of emotional richness and vitality. Embracing your shadow can be a pathway to healing and leading an authentic life.

So write a list! Find your shadows.

Once you accept them, miraculously you will notice how those traits not only don’t bother you in others anymore, but how you are now attracting people without these traits to your life!

If you want to know more on how to accept and embrace your shadow, get in touch!


With gratitude,
Anamarija Ferrari
Personal Growth Coach certified in PEAT and FAIR transformational methods

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